Is it normal to feel sad when leaving a job
Whatever the motivator, many who choose to leave their current roles will find the process emotionally challenging. But the upheaval caused by the pandemic — and the sheer number of potential quitters — could help us remove the stigma around resignation, and reframe it as a more positive choice. This idea plays into the popular narrative that the surest route to career success is hard work, persistence and even a willingness to suffer for a better end result. Research suggests that quitting stigma most affects people who leave a role without another job to go to.
While people who quit for better opportunities benefit from staying on a recognised career trajectory, a study showed HR professionals and the broader public perceived people who had left employment as altogether less competent, less warm and less hireable from the moment they became jobless.
The only way to mitigate this stigma was to offer proof that they left their job due to external factors, rather than quitting voluntarily. These judgements can cause strain: quitting without a concrete plan also leaves people more likely to suffer feelings of emotional distress. The negative feelings the brain can cycle through after quitting can be significant, with shame, guilt, fear and a sense of failure all common reactions.
Two common responses are spiralling anxiety over whether quitting is the right decision, or freezing with fear at the thought of moving forward into an unknown future. Personal trainer Jackson fell into the first category. Quitting meant selling his car and moving back home with his parents as well as giving up the only job he knew.
Complex emotions are also common if there are difficult circumstances behind your decision to quit. White left a successful corporate career in to look after her mental health after she had her first child.
She subsequently established her own wellness business, but when lockdown hit in April , she faced the twin challenges of pivoting her business online at the same time as home-schooling her young children. The public aspect of quitting can be difficult to navigate for many people. Commit to finding a new job today. Thank you! You are now a Monster member—and you'll receive more content in your inbox soon. By continuing, you agree to Monster's privacy policy , terms of use and use of cookies.
Search Career Advice. Advice Workplace Quitting a Job. Learn how to break up with your employer and move on with your career. Kate Ashford, Monster contributor. Know when it's time to find a new job. Tags: career advice. Related Articles. After Grace quit her first job out of college, where she'd worked for seven years, she was desperately sad about leaving her coworkers—to a degree she had never predicted.
After all, they'd become her family. Literally: She met her husband at the office. Others miss the prestige of the former company, a feeling often experienced by women who take a better position at a lesser-known firm. Someone transferring to a job at a more esteemed company suffers the opposite fate: She laments how comfortable she was at her last employer. That feeling of ease is rarely duplicated for months, even years.
Healing the Heartache It's fine to mourn your former job; after all, much of your identity and life are wrapped up in your career. The key is to also deal with those feelings head-on—before you leap.
Start by taking a pragmatic approach to your decision. Make a list of pros and cons. Consider what you will achieve in the new position and what you could still achieve where you are. You should also acknowledge what you're going to miss about your old job.
But if discomfort or anxiety doesn't strike until you're in the new job, as is common with many women, admit to yourself how you feel and that it's OK. Don't necessarily look at it as fear, but as a chance to develop new friends and contribute in a new way, at a higher level. Keep up your old relationships, but develop new ones too.
Have a drink with a new colleague, decorate your office or cube, or join the company softball team. Letting Go for Good If these common-sense coping methods aren't enough, you might need more help, possibly from a therapist.
But it can take weeks, months, and sometimes even years to get over your old workplace. White, Ph. It could be two weeks or two months. But if it's two years later and you're still mourning, something else is going on.
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