Is it normal for kids to lie

Maintaining the lies may still be difficult, even though they are becoming better at concealing them. Also, notice when a child is being honest and provide praise and positive feedback. Most important, because school-age children are keen observers, continue to be good role models. Be careful about what reflexive lies you may be used to saying -- even something as small as "Tell them I'm not at home" when you are -- can send a very mixed message to a school-age child.

For trickier situations, as when your child must offer thanks for a gift that she doesn't like, help her focus on the positive aspects of the gift. Explain to her, "I know you don't love your new sweater and it makes your neck itchy, but think about all the hours Grandma put into knitting it.

That's the really special part about her gift and that's something you can honestly thank her for. Most children this age are well on their way to establishing a hardworking, trustworthy, and conscientious identity. But they are also becoming more adept at maintaining lies and more sensitive to the repercussions of their actions, and they may have strong feelings of guilt after lying.

Forthright and longer conversations about honesty are definitely necessary, as there will be rare "little white lie" moments when some dishonesty is acceptable in order to be polite or to spare another person's feelings. When situations like this arise, be straightforward with your child to avoid sending mixed messages. Start a conversation with, "You know how always telling your parents the truth is very important, right?

Well, there are also times when it's important to be polite and not hurt another person's feelings. If we're visiting friends and they serve a lunch you don't like, it's not polite to make a big scene and refuse to eat.

You should eat the food and say 'Thank you. Good role models are still crucial for your kids, so consider enlisting close family members or caring neighbors to guide your children through challenging social interactions.

It's going to get harder before it gets easier, but there is a silver lining. Taking a moment to think about why they are lying should help you respond to their lies appropriately. Is something stressful happening at school or at home that might explain the behavior?

People often think that lying is an act of defiance. That can happen when kids have trouble with self-control , organizing their thoughts, or thinking about consequences. These difficulties are related to a group of skills called executive functions. In fact, they often feel really bad about it when they realize they did it.

What happens when you point out the lying? Does your child feel bad about it and accept the truth? Try to observe and pick up patterns in the behavior. That can give you clues. And find out why some kids struggle with impulsivity. More on: Signs and symptoms. He picks himself up when he falls, and he tries again. Penny Van Bergen does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.

Children typically begin lying in the preschool years, between two and four years of age. These intentional attempts at deception may worry parents, who fear their child will become a pint-sized social deviant. But from a developmental perspective, lying in young children is rarely cause for concern. While lying itself may not be socially desirable, the ability to know what others are thinking and feeling is an important social skill.

Imagine the child who claims not to have eaten any cake while her mouth is still full, or who blames the family dog for drawing on the wall. Before age eight, children frequently give themselves away when lying. In one study , children aged three to seven were asked not to peek at a mystery toy Barney that had been placed behind them.

Nearly all did, and nearly all lied about it later increasing with age. But across the group, children also had trouble maintaining the lie. Liars aged three to five were surprisingly good at keeping a straight face but typically gave themselves away by describing the Barney toy by name.

They also become better at maintaining the lie over time. Moral development also kicks in. Younger children are more likely to lie for personal gain, while older children increasingly anticipate feeling bad about themselves if they lie. Read more: The evolution of lying.